a revolution for ari

Today I turned a full revolution in bed by myself, with no assistance. Next thing you know I'll be placing first in a logrolling contest. At least, that's what the optimists would say.

What was the occasion? Today marks the 21st birthday of my favorite and only sister, the beautiful, brilliant, crusading-for-justice Ari. Wow! you're probably saying to yourself. That means Ari will have her first interaction with alcohol and the institutions that serve it! No, Ari made her own milestone there years ago, when she was probably still in braces and yours truly was being kicked out of bars for using her real, valid, over-21 ID. It turns out that being beautiful and brilliant earns you more than just achievements for the good of man and scads of friends; it also earns you booze. Ari, a toast to you today, my friend. A legal toast. Hallelujah.

I sent away to Amazon.com today for more veins. I think I'm going to need them. Next up: What appear to be three million blood tests, and an abdominal ultrasound. No one will tell me what this is all about, except that it is about my liver. The good news is that if you buy a certain amount of veins, you get free shipping. I got free shipping.