in which the entire world, in a celebratory fashion, gets crohn's and/or colitis -- act now, your choice!

I hope everyone had a wonderful World Crohn's and Colitis (Awareness) Day on Sunday. There was a big-ass parade here in the Mission with floats from various Central and South American nations, samba and marital arts troupes in multicolored costumes, marching bands, and people on stilts. They called it "Carnaval," by which they obviously meant "Festive Parade in Honor of World Crohn's and Colitis Day." There was even a float manned by the San Francisco Waste Services! They really thought of everything.

Image from http://salsacrazysf.com

This morning, in belated celebration, I went for my third (3rd) MRE in eight (8) months, upping my rate to almost one MRE per fiscal quarter. I drank the sixty-four ounces of opaque white "fruit punch" (please, who are we kidding; that ain't nobody's punch) and sat docilely to receive my IV. The IV was put in by a very competent nurse named Mary Margaret who asked me if I was Irish. Apparently it wasn't a joke, although I laughed.
"Not Irish?" she said. "You really look it. Plus Irish people are known for having bad veins like yours."
"I'm 100% oversized Eastern European Jew," I responded. "Just with bad veins."

Halfway through the procedure Mary Margaret came in to put some solution into my IV to immobilize my intestines so the picture would be ultracrisp.
"Decision came down," she reported as she injected the solution. "Prop 8 upheld." A moment passed as she continued the injection. "Hello?" she said. I wasn't feeling so well. "Get the bin!"
I threw up.
"You're a very political young woman, I can see!" she said.
What she'd failed to mention was that the solution also makes people very nauseous. It wasn't helped by the news of course. California, you disgust me.

I hope the MRE will say something really useful that will make me all better, which is about as likely as Carnaval being converted into a World Crohn's and Colitis Day Parade.