Who Is Phillip?

Phillip is a beardog -- part bear, part dog -- whose content is 100% polyester. Although his tag identifies him as being made in China (in addition to being machine-washable), Phillip has never uttered a word of Chinese in his life, besides the occasional "wei" when Amy visits from DC. Since 2000, when Phillip appeared courtesy of Juan in the midst of a painful medical procedure, he has provided countless nuggets of choice advice -- usually delivered by handwritten note on his sketchpad. Hobbies include mocking people, ordering pizza with other people's money and then hiding the greasy boxes under the bed, disdaining my music taste, and being hidden in shoe boxes during events unsuited to his young eyes. Places visited/lived in include: Maryland, Pennsylvania, New York, Barcelona, Prague, and California. Oh, and China, apparently.